Can I Have A Cell Phone? Puh-lease?

Our  feature on Woburn Patch is part of an initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to moms and families.

Woburn Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Woburn.

Each week in , our Woburn Patch Moms Council of experts and smart moms will take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question from a local mom and some answers from our Woburn Patch Moms Council: 

Q: How young is too young to give your child a cell phone? Do you put restrictions on them?

A: We currently do not have an issue in regards to this subject at our house, but in our friends' and families' homes it is a common battle. It usually depends on the child's grades, attitude, maturity and after-school activities. But it does appear that fifth or sixth grade is the common age. I know many parents that require that the cell phones are placed on the kitchen counter as soon as they come in the door and are never allowed to be brought into the bedrooms. Also many parents like the fact that you can now locate cellphones via GPS to keep track of your kids and monitor phone numbers and text messaging depending on the service provider.  

One idea that a cousin uses that I think is great, she has two children of similar ages. They have a basic cellphone with only certain numbers programmed in. When they both have an after-school activity and she can only be at one, she leaves the phone with the other child. 

A: I, too, do not have this issue yet, although my eight-year-old did want to ask Santa for one this year!  I have told my kids that they can not have a cell phone until middle school (sixth grade) and even then it will be very restricted and basic, with only phone numbers I know and there will be no texting.

A: My son (nine-years-old), continually asks me when he can get a cell phone.  I tell him maybe, and I mean maybe, middle school, it will all depend on the circumstances.  There will definitely be no texting at that age.  I do like the fact that there is a GPS built into cell phones and you can keep track of them.  I guess the days of "Hey Mom, I'm going out" and our parents didn't see us for hours are over!

A: We're not even close to the cell phone issue in my house, unless you count our toddler carrying around our phones to make pretend calls.  However, I work with kids and have observed a lot of different solutions to this problem.  Overall, I think that middle school is the norm for giving kids their own phone and most parents I know still have restrictions on them like no texting (or limited texting), no data plans, pre-paid service, phones kept in a common place in the house, etc.

Personally, I like the idea of having a family phone for younger kids.  You can have a basic pre-paid phone that is used by all the kids in the family, given out only when they need to be somewhere without a parent.  The phone is then only used for quick phone calls or emergencies.

A: We do not have this issue yet either, but looking back on what I did in middle school, I don't see a need for one until high school.  I will still be the one driving them to and from places; if it's not me, it would be a friend whose parents I know.  They still don't have friends that drive and still aren't old enough to be out on their own all that much.  We will re-visit this when the time comes, but right now I don't think it will happen until high school for us.  If I see a need for one sooner, it will be like the others have said, only in certain circumstances and only a few numbers to call in it.

A: I have a nine-year-old who is definitely not ready for a cell phone yet. Grade school is much too young.
I also have a 12-year-old who has a cell phone. Most of her friends have cell phones. I thought at first she was old enough and it has come in handy when I want to get ahold of her at friends' houses. But I have recently taken away any internet access and instant messaging access. I have rules about no texting during homework and family time, plus the phone doesn't get charged in the bedroom and I have access to read texts. Even though my 12-year-old has read and signed an internet agreement with me, it has been violated enough that the internet access has gone away indefinitely.
My advice is to really consider the level of responsibility level of the individual child and be prepared to have a battle to get the phone away the first few days (like a new toy).