How Do You Talk To Your Children About Disasters?

Our  feature on Woburn Patch is part of an initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to moms and families.

Woburn Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Woburn.

Each week in , our Woburn Patch Moms Council of experts and smart moms will take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question from a local mom and some answers from our Woburn Patch Moms Council: 

Q: How do you start a conversation about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan? Or don't you?

 A: I have a 6-year-old and 4-year-old who have seen some of the news and, of course, have questions.  I could have dismissed it as one of those moments when you give an excuse and let it pass by, hoping they will forget about it, but instead I chose to address it. 

I was very honest with them that an earthquake occurred, which collapsed many houses (even making reference to when the dog comes by and knocks down their lincoln logs).  I explained that it was followed by a big wave from the ocean because the ocean shook, too, from the earthquake.  I told them this big wave washed onto the land and also destroyed a lot of homes. 

Naturally, they wanted to know if that will happen here to us, and I reassured them that it is not likely, but also you never know, but not to worry at all!  In my house, death is too common a topic because the kids lost a grandmother and great-grandmother, both of whom they were very close to.  So, I felt comfortable telling my kids that a lot of people, children included, were killed in this terrible event. 

We also got out a globe because they asked where Japan was, so we looked at it in relation to where we live. 

And on a happy note, after dinner tonight, I gave them some good news that a 4-month-old baby had been found alive.  The look on my 6-year-old's face was of pure joy!  

Our school is doing a little fundraiser to help and my kids are eager to donate.  To sum up, I think the age of the child needs to be taken into consideration, but also the child's ability to handle how much information you provide.  Every child is very different and you definitely don't want to instill any unnecessary fear, but it could be a great lesson in helping humanity.

A: I struggled a little with how much to tell my 9-year-old and 12-year-old. They have a tendency to overreact to bad news. They had already heard about it in school.

The first question they had was why there was both an earthquake and a tsunami. I took that opportunity to give them a little information about Japan and how it sits on two of the earth's plates not far off shore and how well they have prepared for earthquakes. I also explained what happens to the ocean when there is an earthquake and how a tsunami forms.

They asked about the people that live there and how much help they would need. I talked to them about the Red Cross and that anyone could help by donating money to different organizations to help, which they wanted to do. I tried not to focus too much on the negatives, but on what people all around the world are doing to help them.

I also didn't mention the nuclear issue since I thought this would be really hard for them to understand.  We also have a third-grader in our school that will be taking donations at our bake sale this week.