The End Is Nigh?

I apologize that it’s taken me this long to write a blog post this week. I’ve been SO busy getting ready for the Apocalypse.

For those of you who aren’t aware, Harold Camping, a Christian radio broadcaster, has predicted that the Rapture will occur this Saturday, May 21. He has a surprisingly large following. I don’t understand why, because Mr. Camping also predicted that the Rapture would occur in September 1994, and it didn’t happen. Harold Camping is 89-years-old. He must not have any living family, because if he were my Grandpa, I would have scheduled an Alzheimer’s assessment for him a LONG time ago.

Needless to say, I don’t believe that Judgment Day will happen this Saturday. But since I am a Just-In-Case kind of gal, here’s how I’m preparing for the End of Days:

1. Give my heart to Jesus (Check!);

2. Buy Twinkies at Sam’s Club; 

3. Create an “End of the World” playlist; 

4. Obtain a box of Dunkin’ Donuts—chocolate frosted;

5. Make a pot of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to enjoy with those doughnuts;

6. Watch my all-time favorite movie The Big Lebowski for a last laugh. “SHOMER SHABBOS!!” 

7. Spend my remaining Kohl’s Cash on an Apocalypse-appropriate outfit;

8. Throw away all my unpaid bills and rejoice (Goodbye student loans!);

9. Read my husband’s copy of the Zombie Survival Guide;

10. Grab my camera and notebook so I can report on the Apocalypse for Woburn Patch; AND

11.  Re-read Mark 13:32-33: “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is.”

See you this Sunday.